on the horizon

i remember running across soccer fields

barefoot, and the grass was cold

but we didn’t care.

and i remember we’d sneak off

in the trees around the edges

and kiss cute boys,

and it didn’t matter

that it wasn’t going to go anywhere.

we didn’t know what love was then,

we just wanted to have fun,

and the only reason to do anything

was to say we had.

and it didn’t matter, and

we never thought we would die.

even when we wanted to, we didn’t think

we could die.

even when someone did, someone we knew

(or we thought we did, anyway),

dying was for old people.

and planning was for people

who didn’t think they had much time left.

but we just did whatever would make us

happy,

popular,

cool,

get the guy

(or the girl).

we never planned anything,

and the only effort we exerted

was towards sports

and skipping school.

and it didn’t matter.

until it did.

and we didn’t know what to do.

and we still don’t, and we still don’t know

if any of this matters.

lexxie rae 09.17.2017

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follow the spiders

my mind is a spiderweb

made on a single-line drawing

at the center sits God

his legs gently touching each segment

the edges are strung up over the worlds

and fiery earth sits at the bottom right

cornered by an eight-legged angel

the horns on earth’s head struggle to free him

but God’s friend keeps the red fly imprisoned

i sit between his wings and watch him die

and wonder how no one else can see

that this confrontation is only one intersection

and every dash connects back to the core

– lexxie rae 09.07.2017

life update

hey guys, it’s been a while (again). i promise i’ll be writing here more…because i won’t be in school full time!! that’s right, i decided to take a semester off except for one independent study course and start working more. i’ll be back to full time in the spring semester, but for now, this is my best option.

this will turn into a lot more of a poetry platform. i’m trying to compile enough material to publish a poetry book but due to my academic commitments i haven’t been writing much at all these past few years. over the next four months i plan to write at least two poems per week, most of which will be posted here. i’ll also be doing coffee date posts twice a month.

happy halloween season!! (the halloween store is open and there are apples on trees okay shush)

lexxie rae xx

grateful dead

i am a scratch on your seventies records

unnoticed among many

but just deep enough to warp the music

a blank canvas can have no ink splatters

when the paint ran dry seven years ago

so you hid the negative space

with tears and blood from the kitchen knife

no one should look too deep into your eyes

for the lead concentration

from the only paint you could salvage to color them

is a carcinogen too potent for the mind to scheme a cure

the doors have locks

to keep the night at bay

and the shadows play

where the light is strong

– lexxie 07-16-2014

coffee date five

there  are cute old ladies playing mah jongg at the table next to me and it makes me so happy *^^* today’s topic: dreams. i have some theories about them and a lot of weird experiences with them. first theory: i have dreams about the last or most important thing i thought about before sleeping. second: i have weirder dreams when i sleep in the early morning (6 am ish) or during the day. third: i have more accurate prophetic dreams when i read more.

prophetic dreams? that’s right. i have dreams about things that happen later – not just the everyday types of things that probably would have happened whether i dreamed them or not, but detailed dreams about things that happen years after i forgot the dream. the most vivid example was when i was in first grade. i had a six-month series of dreams about two people i wouldn’t even meet for another year, and it predicted the next eight years of our relatioships. i know many christians would dismiss something like this as either a vivid imagination (i read seven plus books a week back then, hence the third theory), coincidence, or even demons messing with me. however, i have to believe they come from God because a) they usually involve other people’s actions, which i can’t control and b) when i ignore them or try to prevent them things tend to go poorly.

do you believe God still speaks to us directly through signs? i do because of these and other experiences. however, most christians i know don’t because of hebrews chapter 1: ‘long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son, whom He appointed the heir of all things, through whom also He created the world’ (hebrews 1:1-2 esv). i don’t think this means Jesus can’t or won’t use signs, however, just that He will use them more rarely. plus, no one can deny we live in an increasingly secular age, where things like magic, gods, prayer, signs, angels, and demons are considered stories for children.

let me know your thoughts on this and any weird, funny, or all-too-coincidental dreams you’ve had!! xx